The Sweet Aroma of a Full Septic Tank

Yesterday, David came home from work with an upset stomach. KJ is vacationing with his dad all week so I had planned to meet at a friend's house for lunch. I asked David if he wanted me to stay home with him and he moaned, rolled over, and mumbled something that I took to mean, "no," so I kept my plans.

I was happily munching on a salad and chatting with Kerrie-Ann (we were at her house) when my cell phone rang. It was my darling husband calling to inform me that the toilet had overflowed all over the bathroom making quite a mess, and what was our landlord's phone number, please? Actually, that is a calm summary of what the problem was. In reality, he was as mad as a hornet, the word sh*t was used a lot describing what had flowed all over the floor, and ended with one of those pregnant pauses... "Ummm, do you want me to come home?" I asked. Another long pause....and then he said, "No, just give me Bud's number." I gave it to him without mentioning that Bud's number has been the same the entire time we've lived there (5 years for me and 7 for David), or that the number was on the fridge...didn't want to push my luck.

After awhile, I called David back to see what the situation was. He was considerably calmer, and said that Bud was outside digging out the clean-out for the septic tank and that I would need to rent a carpet cleaner on the way home. Apparently, some of the nasty toilet water had gotten on the carpet in the hall. Luckily for me, Kerrie-Ann had a Little Green Machine that she was happy to lend me. Thank you, Kerrie-Ann. Meanwhile Debbie arrived and we all visited some while I procrastinated as long as was reasonable. Eventually, I headed home, stopping at the grocery store for cleaning supplies and to use their restroom. Did I mention that our house only has one bathroom?

After getting home and taking stock of the situation, I sprayed this
into

making me look like this.

I didn't take pictures of the mess since I know that some people read my blog while eating, and quite frankly, it was everything I could do to keep from puking much less hold a camera. First, I rummaged through our leftover dissection supplies looking for rubber gloves. I found 3 gloves, but they were all lefties, so I put on 1 glove, grabbed a trash bag and headed back to the bathroom. In an effort to stop the water from flowing into the hall, David had thrown a bunch of towels down. I picked up the dripping towels, trying to mop up any ummm solid waste as I found it, and put the towels in the trash bag. I contemplated just throwing the towels away, but as that would leave us with about 3 towels for the whole family, I decided to try and salvage them. They went into the washer along with about half a jug of bleach. The glove and trash bag went into the trash, and I returned to the bathroom. What was David doing during all this you ask? He was lying on the couch watching TV. Don't get mad. He WAS sick, you know.

These next two items are my new best friends. I used an entire container of Clorox wipes just on the floor., and part of a second container on the outside of the toilet. I couldn't do anything about the inside until it was flushable so I just kept the lid down. David, apparently tired of lying on the couch or maybe feeling guilty, mixed some bleach and water in a spray bottle and sprayed in the corners and cracks around the edge of the floor next to the baseboards. I went ahead and cleaned the sink while I had the supplies out anyway.

Okay, the bathroom was as good as it was going to get until I could flush the toilet. Now it was time for the hall. Time to try out the Little Green Machine. This thing worked amazingly well! Once I started, I liked the way the carpet looked so much that I had a hard time finding a stopping place. David asked (from the couch) if I were planning on doing the entire hall.

By this time, the washer had stopped, so I washed the towels again, but no bleach this time. Meanwhile, Bud had finished outside and called several septic tank pumpers trying to find one that could come right away. The earliest anybody could get here was the next morning which would be today. That means about...let's see...about 18 hours without a toilet. For liquid waste, I figured David could go outside. What else are the woods behind the house for? As for me, I'll leave it up to your imagination as to what I did. Where would YOU go if you couldn't use the toilet? I did rig up a solid waste disposal system though.

Meanwhile, I washed the towels one last time and hung them on the clothesline. I've read that UV rays can also kill germs.

This morning, about 9:00, Bud (he lives next door) knocked on the door to tell me that the pumpers were on their way. A few minutes later, I heard the rumble of a truck in the driveway.

Woo Hoo! Septic-Tank-Man was here! I blurred his face since I don't know that he wants it on the internet.

Those are two of Bud's dogs, Pie and LK, watching the action. The smell hit me about this time so I ran back inside.

About an hour or so later, everything was empty and unclogged. Finally, I could use the toilet...but first I had to clean the inside. Time for these guys.

Yay, it's clean! And yes, I've already used it.